Esther Onions: words
The idea for The Alternative Baby Keepsake Book came to me following the birth of my second daughter when I was given a baby keepsake book. Blimey, it was dull.
Who, I pondered, flipping through the pastel pages, would give a projectile poo in 20 years about the exact date their baby first ate finger food?
When I look back on my pregnancies and the early days with my children, what sticks out for me are the gloriously funny, frequently mortifying, things that happened. The glee-inducing tales friends, family and especially the babies in question when they're older, love hearing over and over again.
So I created a keepsake book which celebrates all the not-so-magical but never-should-be-forgotten moments of bringing a baby into the world. It covers everything from the cack-handed comments your other half made (such as "Ahoy maties, thar she blows!" as I hoved into sight wearing a maternity dress the size of a small circus tent) to the most pointless baby product purchased (wee cones: are they taking the piss? Cos they sure as hell aren't catching it). Then there's the buttock-clenchingly embarrassing things your baby does in public, such as a steaming great poo-nami just as someone at the next table tucks into a panini, and all those not-so-magical firsts, like the first time you managed to sit down post-baby without letting rip a string of expletives (or worse).
Unless you have the disposition and energy of Mary Poppins on Class As, being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. If The Alternative Baby Keepsake Book gives you a titter at a time when all the usual sanity-saving tricks have gone out the window, I'll have done what I set out to do. I'd also like to think that someone somewhere might find comfort in knowing they're not the only one to have improvised a nappy from a sanitary towel and a roll of sellotape.
Other stuff
I've been a writer and editor for more than 25 years; astounding considering I'm only 39... This has included editing (under my real name) the UK's two most popular parenting websites, Mother and Baby and Gurgle, as well as a trio of parenting books for Collins.
I'm a mother of two and a stepmother of three, so I like to kid myself I know something about this parenting malarkey. But actually I'm winging it, just like everybody else.
Who, I pondered, flipping through the pastel pages, would give a projectile poo in 20 years about the exact date their baby first ate finger food?
When I look back on my pregnancies and the early days with my children, what sticks out for me are the gloriously funny, frequently mortifying, things that happened. The glee-inducing tales friends, family and especially the babies in question when they're older, love hearing over and over again.
So I created a keepsake book which celebrates all the not-so-magical but never-should-be-forgotten moments of bringing a baby into the world. It covers everything from the cack-handed comments your other half made (such as "Ahoy maties, thar she blows!" as I hoved into sight wearing a maternity dress the size of a small circus tent) to the most pointless baby product purchased (wee cones: are they taking the piss? Cos they sure as hell aren't catching it). Then there's the buttock-clenchingly embarrassing things your baby does in public, such as a steaming great poo-nami just as someone at the next table tucks into a panini, and all those not-so-magical firsts, like the first time you managed to sit down post-baby without letting rip a string of expletives (or worse).
Unless you have the disposition and energy of Mary Poppins on Class As, being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. If The Alternative Baby Keepsake Book gives you a titter at a time when all the usual sanity-saving tricks have gone out the window, I'll have done what I set out to do. I'd also like to think that someone somewhere might find comfort in knowing they're not the only one to have improvised a nappy from a sanitary towel and a roll of sellotape.
Other stuff
I've been a writer and editor for more than 25 years; astounding considering I'm only 39... This has included editing (under my real name) the UK's two most popular parenting websites, Mother and Baby and Gurgle, as well as a trio of parenting books for Collins.
I'm a mother of two and a stepmother of three, so I like to kid myself I know something about this parenting malarkey. But actually I'm winging it, just like everybody else.
Peter King: pictures
Peter King has been creating cartoons for more than 20 years for an impressive client list including Punch, Private Eye, The Oldie, The Spectator and Reader's Digest.
Peter was voted Gag Cartoonist of the Year 2007 by The Cartoon Arts Trust. |
